Peace-loving me?

I really wonder what has gone into me.

I just wanna scream at those who step in my path.
And ask them to F*** off.

And today, some of my colleagues commented that I've changed.

In fact, they told me I have become very fiery.

I ponder over what they said.
And I thought of it to be somewhat true.
It seems like time has turned back to when my JC GP teacher Ms Fernandez scolded me for displaying my defiance so openly.

And since then, I toned down.
I vaguely remembered how I was like.
Ba4 dao4 as lia would call it.
Short-tempered, she described.

But there came a time when I changed totally.
I became patient.
Considerate.
Always think from other people's perspective before I come to any conclusion.

And it worked well for the jobs I was in.
Customer service leh.
Need a lot of patience and tolerance.
So I built a wall of patience.
And even tolerance,
to fend off all the vulgar and rude complaints in my face.

And so the short-temperedness was lost.

but recently, it seemed to come back.
Everything that happens with a little unjustification makes me jump.
And I pity those who suffer with me.
Having to tolerate the "now" me is horrible.
I sulk all day,
complain all night.
Displease with anything that is not right to me.
I feel unjustifed.
So much so that I complained to my boss even.
An option I would have never picked.
Cos it's equivalent to telling her that I have some job adjustment issues.
Problems with my colleagues even.
If she did not interpret it correctly, that is.

But all I want,
is an avenue to let out my frustrations.
I just want to ventilate.

And I'll go back to being the "professional" me then.
The one who was patient and more tolerant.
The one who seemed to have no problems in her work.
Or with anyone else.

I probably just need a good break to cure my on-going fury.