TraumA

I am pretty traumatised by what had happened.
And I blame myself for not reacting fast enough.
Even when I was at the scene, I couldn't react to the situation.
Too stunned by what I saw.

Worse, I brought someone who was not supposed to be up there to witness what I saw.
Anyway, the matter has passed.
And the only consolation that I have is the learning points that I can draw from it and knowing my level of readiness to respond to emergencies need tremendous improvement.
I am upset with myself for not being able to react in a way I should have...

My heart goes out to the injured parties who must have been greatly traumatised by the incident.

When I visited the casualty, she appeared to be strong in front of the vast numbers of visitors who had already visited her.

Yet, somehow, it appeared to me that she is badly affected by the incident(which can be understood).
Then she started to blame others for responding too slowly.
And for neglecting the casualties.
I can really understand her grudges against everyone else who should have done what they should have.
Because it really happened.
And most of us were too stunned to react properly.
But, it has passed.

Then it comes the part when she has to relive the horror and re-tell the story over and over again to unknowing visitors.
Thoughts that went through during the incident.
Her next course of action.
How she was going to get out of the situation.
How she can protect herself and others from incurring more injury.
Who came to her rescue and who didn't.
Who should have done what and what was not done.
Who did not help her and who did.

Yes, I can understand from her perspective.
She is probably the kind of person who will blurt everything to anyone as long as she does not feel "shuang".

Least she could have done is to be more objective when re-telling the story.
And not adding perceptions of her own which probably may end up becoming perceptions of those who were not there.

I really feel for her, but hearing what comes out from her is rather....
And the sympathy and respect that I initially have for this person is somewhat reduced.
At her age, her maturity and EQ level is really not-so-high.

But I admire her courage to speak in such a tactless manner, cos even if it means to jeopardise her career, she'll probably still voice out her own opinion.

I feel bad about not having to be able to react as I should, and am guilty as charged.
What had happened really shook the "take-it-for-granted" attitude off me and made me more wary and cautious of my surroundings.

I ought to reflect and think of ways to improve myself.
And prevent such things from happening to anyone ever.